All Aboard the Bark-liner! Your Hilarious Guide to Cruises That Actually Allow Dogs

Title: “All Aboard the Bark-liner! Your Hilarious Guide to Cruises That Actually Allow Dogs”

---

Ahoy, dog lovers! 🐾 You’ve conquered the local dog park. You’ve navigated airplane cabins with a shih tzu in your tote bag like it’s an emotional support baguette. But now you’ve got your sights set on the open sea. The salt air, the endless buffets, and… wait—are there cruises that allow dogs? Can Captain Fluffypaws set paw on a floating resort?

Buckle up (er, leash up), because we’re diving nose-first into the world of dog-friendly cruises—with a tail-wagging mix of info, sass, and a sprinkle of sea spray.

---

1. First Things First: Are There Cruises That Allow Dogs?

Yes. But also… kind of no. It’s not a full-on “bring-your-poodle-to-the-poop-deck” kind of industry just yet.

While many cruises love your Instagram stories of Max in a sailor hat, only a precious few ships actually allow dogs onboard. The reigning champion of dog-friendliness? Drumroll please…

---

2. 🛳️ Queen Mary 2: The Only Transatlantic Cruise That Barks Back

The Queen Mary 2, operated by Cunard Line, is the Rolls-Royce of ocean liners—and it’s also basically the only cruise ship that lets dogs sail in style.

• Route: Transatlantic (New York ↔ Southampton)
• Accommodations: Dedicated kennel deck, with 24 spacious kennels
• Paws-on perks: Playtime areas, “kennel master” staff, even fire hydrant décor and a replica of a British lamppost
• Human perks: No fur in your soup; pups stay in the kennel area (not your cabin)

Oh, and let’s not forget—on some crossings, there are even “doggie graduation ceremonies”. You’ll cry. Your dog will probably try to eat the diploma.

---

3. How Do These Kennels Work, Anyway?

Imagine a luxury daycare at sea. Here’s the fetch:

• Kennel fees: Expect to drop anywhere from $800 to $1000+, depending on the size of your dog and voyage length.
• Pet size matters: Small and medium dogs? 🐶 All good. Great Danes? Not so much. (Sorry, Clifford.)
• Reservations: Book way ahead. Like, “I-just-found-out-I’m-pregnant-and-I’m-booking-a-dog-cruise-now” levels of early.

Pro tip: People will literally book a year in advance just to snag a kennel spot. It’s harder to get into than a SoHo speakeasy.

---

4. What About Other Cruise Lines?

Let’s review a few of the cruise giants and their policies toward four-legged travelers:

🚢 Royal Caribbean:

Policy: No pets allowed, unless it’s a certified service animal.
Your dog can’t surf the FlowRider, but he can watch your guilt from shore.

🚢 Norwegian Cruise Line:

Policy: Service animals only.
Therapy and emotional support animals? Sorry—those don’t count on Norwegian ships. You can cry into your complimentary piña colada, though.

🚢 Carnival, Disney, MSC, Princess, etc.:

Policy: Same story. All aboard… unless you have paws.

In other words, if you’re not sailing Queen Mary 2, you’re probably sailing sans Spot.

---

5. But What If My Dog is Small and Super Portable?

Sorry, tiny pupper fans—even cruises that allow small dogs are rare. No “Chihuahua in a carry-on” exceptions here. Unlike airlines that let small dogs ride under the seat, cruise ships are stricter.

In fact, bringing your Maltese onto most ships would cause more paperwork than smuggling a parrot into Australia.

---

6. So… Why Don’t Cruises Allow Dogs?

We get it. You’d rather travel with your beagle than your uncle who complains about buffet shrimp. But here’s why the industry says “paws off”:

• Sanitation rules: Cruise lines already worry about norovirus. Add poop? No thanks.
• Allergies: Not everyone thinks dog smell is “rustic.”
• Space: Cabins barely have room for humans to turn around. Add a Labrador? You’d need a separate room just for zoomies.

---

7. The Loopholes: Dog Cruises & Themed Charters

If you’re really dying for a tail-wagging sea adventure, sniff out these creative options:

🐶 Dog-Themed River Cruises

Some smaller river cruise companies (usually in Europe) occasionally host dog-themed charters. Think: canine costume contests, dog yoga (yes, doga), and gourmet pet menus.

🛥️ Private Yacht Charters

Got cash? Rent a pet-friendly yacht. Bring your pup, your favorite snacks, and your playlist. You’re basically living in a Pitbull music video—minus the crowds.

---

8. Alternatives: Land-Based “Cruise-ish” Vacations for Dogs

If your dog can’t hop on the boat, how about these?

🚂 Pet-Friendly Train Travel

In the United States, Amtrak allows small pets on select routes. Picture a scenic cross-country cuddle fest with your Boston Terrier.

🏖️ Dog-Friendly Resorts

Many beach resorts are more welcoming than the average cruise line. Bonus: fewer waves = fewer “uh-oh” poop moments.

🚐 RV Cruises on Land

An RV with a window and a travel potty spot is basically a cruise cabin on wheels. Just add barking.

---

9. Barking Up the Future: Will Dog-Friendly Cruises Expand?

With “pet travel” becoming a billion-dollar industry, and “pet parents” treating dogs like royalty (guilty), there’s real hope that more cruise lines will sniff out the opportunity.

Think about it: Cruise lines could charge kennel fees, sell dog swag, and create a pet Instagram photo zone. It’s a marketing goldmine. 🦴

Until then, your best bet is the Queen Mary 2 or going rogue with a yacht and your Yorkie.

---

10. TL;DR: What You Actually Need to Know

Cruise Line	Dog Policy	Notes
Queen Mary 2	✅ Yes (kennels only)	Only transatlantic; dogs stay in kennel area
Royal Caribbean	❌ No (service animals only)	Not even small dogs allowed
Norwegian	❌ No (service animals only)	Emotional support animals not allowed
Other lines	❌ No (mostly same as above)	Standard cruise = no dogs
Private charter	✅ Yes (check per provider)	$$$, but pawsome for rich puppers

---

Final Thoughts: The Ruff Conclusion

Are there cruises that allow dogs? Yes—but just barely. The Queen Mary 2 is basically Noah’s Ark with room service. Everyone else? Still warming up to the idea of your Frenchie doing cannonballs.

Until dog-friendly cruising becomes the norm, you’ve got two choices:

1. Book early and splurge on Queen Mary 2 like your dog’s name is Sir Wagglesworth.
2. Stay on land and plan an epic vacation with your pup that doesn’t involve a barf bag or a kennel waiting list.

Either way, your dog deserves the world. And maybe—just maybe—soon the world (or at least the cruise industry) will be more pawsitive about it.

Bon voyage, barkaneers! 🐾🚢

---

Want a printable checklist of what to pack for your cruise-doggo adventure? Just say the word, and I’ll fetch it for you.